Written by Shanny
I was just going to post this picture but…
I thought that would be lazy.
What else can you say about a team that missed the playoffs on the last day of the season by one point. ONE POINT!! BTW…you’re welcome Blackhawks.
Although calling the whole season a disaster isn’t entirely fair. The boys did spend a few glorious weeks a top the Pacific. Injuries to key players & a slump down the stretch is what ultimately caused them to miss the playoffs for the third consecutive season. But still…ONE POINT!!
The off season also had it’s share of drama with the firing of head coach Marc Crawford & the endless rumors about new ownership. Then came THE BRADPOCALYSE & with it two months of OMGZ IS HE GONNA STAY OR NOT. When he didn’t, GM Joe did what many who’ve been dumped before him have done…he went on a shopping spree. He ended up signing seven players, adding much need depth at forward & on the blue line. He even found this team’s unicorn.
Now there are so many questions about the Stars. How will they do without Brad Richards? Which of the new acquisitions will have the most immediate impact? How will new head coach Glen Gulutzen handle his first NHL job? Will this team ever get sold!?! Will they ever change the goal song? Finding out the answers to these, & about a million other questions, is what has me crazy excited for the new season to start.
Owner – The Lenders
Y'all’s teams may have real life owners with real life names but, they don't sound as Bond villain like as The Lenders.
General Manager – 2011 Hall of Fame inductee Joe Nieuwendyk
Soak in the foxiness people. Soak it in.
Coach – Glen Gulutzen
Team Captain – Kris Letang's worst nightmare.
Oh, yeah I went there!
Players Everyone Should Love -
Is an absolute manamial on the ice! He scores, isn't afraid to get physical (just ask Jarome Iginla), & is an all-round BAMF. Plus, he’s cute too.
The fact that the boys only managed four wins in his absence is still an unsolved mystery.
The underrated Swede is always one of the team leaders in goals & is a beast of a two way player. He’s also the hair apparent to B-Rich. Fun fact: Loui was a guest at Henrik Lundqvist's wedding.
The giant, bendy, squishy faced Finn saved this team’s bacon on more than one occasion last season. Plus, he always has the sickest mask in the league.
Players We Don't Love –
I was so ready to go on about Jeff Woywitka & how his bone-headed play cost the team at least a point a game but, he wasn't re-signed. So, I guess I'll pick Mike Ribiero. It's mostly because he thinks he's gansta.
Tweet, Tweet - Here’s a list of Stars on twitter: @RalphStrangis (Ralph Strangis) & @Razor5Hole (Daryl Reaugh) the best announcing duo in the game. @KrysBarch (Krys Barch) @SSouray (Sheldon Souray) @gollygoose33 (Alex Goligoski). Follow these guys and all of your dreams will come true.
New Kids on the Block – Jake Dowell, Vernon Fiddler, Michael Ryder (the unicorn!), Radek Dvorak, Adam Pardy, Eric Godard, Sheldon Souray & head coach Glen Gulutzen
Bye, Bye, Bye - Jamie Langenbrunner, Aaron Gagnon, Jeff Woywitka, Karlis Skrastins, Brandon Segal, Brian “Darren” Sutherby, Jason Williams & (of course) Brad Richards
Up And Comers - Here’s some prospects we hope to see playing with the big boys in the next few years.
Jack Campbell - G
Fun fact: Given the best goalkeeper award & was a tournament All-Star selection at the 2011 World Jrs.
Jamie Oleksiak - D
Fun fact: Is 10ft tall & weights a ton. You can also follow Jamie on the twitters @jamieoleksiak
Located at – Dirk's house
Hotness level (on a scale of 1 to 10) - 9
After losing sexy beast James Neal in a mid-season trade & Brad Richards to free agency, the hotness level of the Stars looked bleak. The signing of one Mr. Studly Wonderbomb changed all that.
He alone is worth at least four points.
Add to that the adorableness of Jamie Benn. The sexy way Alex Goligoski skates. BURRITO! Trevor Daley, who was voted the 3rd best looking athlete in DFW sports
& half a point each for cutie prospects Reilly Smith
& Sean Backman.
Fun fact: Sean is the brother-in-law of Matt Moulson (NY Islanders) & Jonathan Quick (LA Kings)
That equals a total of 9.
In the grand tradition of…umm…last year. I will now end this with a video for your viewing pleasure. Here’s one of the boys playing with their sticks.
Have a super day!