Jumat, 12 Agustus 2011

Date Night Friday: Jailbait Edition

Lately we've been getting a lot of pleading emails to have a Tyler Seguin date night. It kind of freaks us out because we're older and we know that a lot of our readers are. That's why we love you guys.



But when the emails asking over and over if we would date Jeff Skinner came in, we just didn't know what to do. We didn't realize that they were so popular in our readership. Not that we're judging at all.



So we thought it would be fun if we had a Date Night were we would name a bunch of quite young players and you had to pick the one that you would gladly go to jail for. Of course, if the player that gets your overage heart beating isn't here then let us know in the comments.





The date starts out with you getting ready as soon as your parents think that you're asleep and then there's the tapping against your bedroom window. You open it to find (player to be named) waiting for you. The two of you go to a party where everyone's underage and it doesn't matter what you're drinking as long as it gets you drunk.



There's table-dancing, karaoke, yelling in your best friend's face, spilling beer everywhere and sloppy make-out sessions with player-to-be-named in the front seat of his car. And in this world, you're under twenty and therefore hangovers don't even exist.





To make this fair, we have picked our underage dreamboats.



Henrik would do horrible things to Tyler Seguin.



And Noodles can't stop drooling over Erik Gudbranson.





We all have our weakness so don't be ashamed to let us know your dirty secrets.





-&-



Tyler Seguin (19)



With abdominal muscles like that how can he be barely nineteen? It just isn't fair!





Jeff Skinner (19)



We have to admit that the kid is a winner. He definitely deserved the Calder.





Brayden Schenn (19)



He has to get fan mail from overage girls ALL THE TIME, there is no way this face wouldn't.





Cam Fowler (19)



Why were we yelling "HE'S STILL UNDER 21?!" It surprises us every time.





Alexander Burmistrov (19)



Baby Jet played last season to little fanfare but we thought he was pretty good.





Erik Gudbranson (19)



It seems unfair to put him and BSchenn on here but everyone knows they're going to play this season so in a way it's fair.





Nick Leddy (20)



Oh Mr. Leddy. He was quietly good for the Hawks and impressed so far as to play nearly the whole season for the big boys.





Magnus Paajarvi (20)



He looks waaaaaaay older than only twenty. He had us fooled that's for sure.





John Tavares (20)



It seems that this kid is way older than he is but he's still under 21 and therefore some form of jailbait.





Matt Duchene (20)



How our little son is still under 21 still baffles us. We've been letting him drink since he was ten. Parenting, we did our best.





Oliver Ekman-Larsson (20)



Of course he's Swedish! And of course he looks older than his age which makes it okay.





Evander Kane (20)



When he was an infant he knocked the snot out of Matt Cooke. He's cute and a badass, that just isn't fair.





Nazem Kadri (20)



Oh, the jewel of Toronto. The player that infuriates and yet also gives great joy to fans.





Dmitry Kuilkov (20)



You may be asking yourself, "Who?" He's a defenseman for the Panthers and is also Russian.





Ryan O'Reilly (20)



Missing tooth: check. Crazy, longish hair: check. Never quit attitude: check. He's a hockey player.





Marcus Johansson (20)



Baby Swede in Washington, the next Nicklas Backstrom in some circles. We liken him to the jailbait version of Backstrom.







Let us know who you picked and if we forgot your favorite player then we apologize, of course.



Also you can vote if you liked this Special Edition of DNF. If you liked it we can always do more Special Editions just like this one.

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