Minggu, 31 Juli 2011

No Pun Intended

Everyone knows how much sports sites love their puns. We've documented it several times and complained about it but here is the official post.

There have been so many egregious puns made in the past years that we wonder what is up with these writers. If there isn't a pun in the headline then will it not be published? Is there a secret quota that has to be filled?

Some of the many questions that we ask ourselves.

Here is an example of a lame headline that we have seen over and over and over and it was old the first time they used it.

Really? Just because it rhymes? Booooo! Think of something better next time.

This one is just lame all around.

But at the same time we feel bad because we don't think we could come up with a better headline for that group of videos.

Give us some time and we could.

Of course this last example is not a headline but it's pretty convincing advertising and has a pretty nice play of words.

Yep, we're shallow enough to buy tickets after seeing that.

If you have any bad memories of puns gone wrong in headlines or just lame ones then send them our way, we love laughing at them.

Sabtu, 30 Juli 2011

Who Doesn't Love To Color?

A while back, Shanny sent us an email with these pictures that she changed to make them like a coloring page.

We thought that this was a great idea and a great post idea but we never got around to posting them. Well, today has been one of those lazy, hot days when coloring in the air conditioning seems like just the perfect thing.

If you think that any of yours are particularly amazing and creative and worth the time then send it back to us because we would love to post the ones that have been colored up.

Check them out, print them out and color away!

Jumat, 29 Juli 2011

Date Night Friday: Clayton Stoner

Hello ladies.

Now I'm pretty sure that you're asking youreself 'Who is this gorgeous hunk of man asking me out on a date?'

My name is Clayton Stoner and I am a studly defenseman from the Minnesota Wild.

I hail from the meatiest, most partying-est and studliest place in all of Canada and that is British Columbia.

Most girls rave on and on about Cal Clutterbuck but I think I've got a *ahem* few inches on him, if you catch my drift.

It's the BC thing and it's been proven.

Anyway, on our date we start out at some restaurant that I let you pick because I am a gentleman like that. It's nice and it's quaint and the wine is pretty good.

We have a nice conversation about beards and how much you love them.

(Really, I can't blame you. I like them too.)

After dinner I suggest we go get a few drinks at this bar a few blocks down. It's summer so the weather is nice and the walk is fun.

At the bar, I start buying us drinks and am impressed that you can keep up. That is until you find the mechanical bull in the bar and I cannot stop you.

I am also impressed with how well you stay on that bull, if you know what I mean. After that display, I ask "How would you like to tame my bull like that?"


Did you have fun on the date?

Would you 'tame his bull'?

Let us know in either the comments or the poll in the sidebar.

Kamis, 28 Juli 2011

Random Links For Today

- Craig Mactavish was named the head coach for the AHL Chicago Wolves.

- The Blackhawks have invited Ray Emery to their training camp. Really? Well, fine then.

- Jason Williams signed a one-year, two-way deal with the Pittsburgh Penguins.

- The Penguins also have submitted a bid to host the 2012 NHL Entry Draft. We will definitely pass out if it happens.

- Ryan Callahan signed a three-year deal and successfully avoided arbitration with the New York Rangers.

- Also avoiding arbitration is Jannik Hansen after he signed a three-year contract with the Vancouver Canucks.

- It looks like Alex Kovalev will be going to the darkside aka the KHL this season after reportedly signing a two-year deal.

- And Brent Sopel is following in his footsteps, also signing a two-year deal with a KHL team.

- The Devils traded Brian Rolston to the New York Islanders for Trent Hunter. Means that Hunter will still be in the Atlantic and will still be scoring every game against the Penguins.

Rabu, 27 Juli 2011

Some Changes To Date Night Friday

So it doesn't seem like Steven Stamkos is that popular in these parts. We think it may be the beady eyes and lack of testosterone in his voice.

Or something like that.

We respect him as a player but if he ever asked us out on a date, we would laugh in his general direction.

And we have discovered that we are not alone in these feelings like we thought we were. We were under the impression that everyone loved Stamkos but apparently not.

So, in light of these findings we thought that maybe a few changes could be made for this feature that we plan to keep for a while at least.

Change #1 - We will be taking email suggestions for players BUT we would like a reason why you want use and everyone to date him and/or date suggestion. If we don't get that then we don't post the date.

You don't have to write the date up for us, just a little suggestion. If it's a player from your hometown team then you would know them better than we would and therefore can give us a more accurate date. And of course we would put our own spin on it, duh.

Change #2 - We are going to attempt to add a poll into the sidebar for a week so that everyone can give their thumbs up or thumbs down on the date if they don't want to comment. But commenting is always allowed.

And remember, these dates are for fun. If we go out with Tyler Seguin, imagine that it's your nineteen-year-old self that is going out with him because that's the only way that this will work. That's the only way we can justify writing these dates.

Anyway, as always, thank you for being the awesome readers that we have come to know and love.

Hope you like the changes and if you don't, just yell at us in the comments. You know the drill.

Selasa, 26 Juli 2011

Would You Buy Their Kool-Aid?

We were going through all of the NHL sites because we were bored and noticed that quite a few had that extra homepage that announces something 'exciting' like a season ticket package or something like that.

So we were wondering what you guys think of these advertising campaigns. Some are downright creepy and others well, they just don't work. We don't think any of them are particularly good.

The Winnipeg site was going to be ridiculed on here but they don't need any more crap thrown on them. People seem to forget that this is the same Atlanta Thrashers team that happened last season. If they win one game we will be happy for them.

Anyway, onto the websites!

Here is the Ducks homepage before the actual homepage.

Pretty simple and straightforward, nothing too fancy.

Oh, there's Bobby Ryan. Hiiii Silver, what's up?

You want us to get a season ticket plan in Anaheim when we live in Pittsburgh?

Okay, we'll do it.

Soooo, maybe we were wrong. Guess they do work...


The Avalanche took the advertising a little too far in this


Too much eyebrow, put it away! Now! Our mom was tweezing away at the computer screen when that page loaded.

We love PeterPaulMarian Stastny but that's a little too close for comfort.



Pretty straightforward and oh, hi good looking. Man, did their hotness factor go up or is it us?

Oh, oh no. This cannot be happening again! Damn you, Holmgren with your sneaky ways and backdoor dealings that get some of the best looking players.

You suck.


The Habs homepage before the homepage looks like they stole it off of some pretentious art school kid on deviantART.

No credit to you, art school kid.

Either that or someone in their media design/graphics department got their hands on some SpinArt crap.

We'd probably still click and go buy things from them.


Hahahahahaha, pretty clever Islanders. Making us care about you and your plight.

Clever indeed. And funny. Very funny.

And Blue Oyster Cult? Hmm. Free concert? Okay, we're listening. Cow bells? Oh, we're in.

We'll definitely Vote Yes. For sure.



Why is there so much red on the screen? What is up with the creepy cat eyes? And Jovocop's face. Is that necessary?

Really Dale?

This is how you repay our loyalty to you? With all of this 'seeing red' bullshit.

This isn't the Capitals. They and Calgary have their little claws into the red stuff. Think of something new, people!


The Senators homepage before the homepage looks


Oh sorry, we must have dozed off looking at that page.

At least the Panthers website kept us entertained with how stupid it was. Come on guys. Where's the flash? Where's the sparkly Roman soldier you promised us?


Oh, we can pick our ten games?

Any game from the Bronze or Silver or Gold plus a preseason?

Really? Really? Yes, where do we sign. Give it to us right now.


What team is this for?


Those sneaky Swedish bastards. They knew that's how we would sign up. What a great idea though.

Where do we sign?


So, those are the websites that we decided to make fun of today. If you know that your team is having a spectacularly awful idea on how to sell season tickets or just selling the website then let us know.

We love awful.

Senin, 25 Juli 2011

Videos For Your Viewing Pleasure

Oilers Bloopers

Heidi Androl gets her claws into Mike Richards.

Just kidding, it's only an interview.

Derek Stepan & Ryan McDonough answer your burning questions

And here is some behind the scenes footage of the Canucks in the playoffs.

Hockey players and their superstitions.

Minggu, 24 Juli 2011

Winnipeg's Logo

So, what do you think of the new logos for the Jets?

A lot of our friends don't like them very much or just don't think that they look right. But we like them.

The colors are kind of boring, like every other team in the league but the logo is kind of cool.

We found this illustration on Tumblr of what the logos look like and we think it's pretty accurate.

And here is video of the logos being unveiled.

What are your opinions on the new logos? Let us know!

Sabtu, 23 Juli 2011

Saturday's News

- Peter DeBoer was named the new head coach of the New Jersey Devils.

- Lightning re-signed Teddy Purcell.

- Ty Conklin will be returning to Detroit as a backup.

- The Blackhawks let Chris Campoli become a UFA.

- Brooks Orpik underwent hernia surgery and will need 6-8 weeks to heal.

- Patrick Lalime has retired and will be working with RDS for their hockey broadcasts.

- Then the Sabres re-signed Jhonas Enroth to a multi-year deal as Ryan Miller's official backup.

- The Rangers re-signed Brandon Dubinsky to a four-year deal and he gushed about how much he loves New York.

- Vinny Prospal signed a one-year deal with the Columbus Blue Jackets.

- Then the Rangers re-signed Steve Eminger.

- There are reports that Alexei Yashin wants to come back to the NHL and that he is talking with the New York Islanders. Aren't they already paying him after buying out his contract like fifteen years ago?

- Kris Draper will also be announcing his retirement this week. Does it seem like a lot of retirements this off-season or are we just noticing it?

- So in news of the weird, Tommy Lee (yes that drummer from Motley Crue) hacked Brad Richards's Twitter account then gave it back to him after having some fun. So ridiculous.

Here are a few of the tweets:

Thanks to Shanny for the article.

Jumat, 22 Juli 2011

Date Night Friday: Steven Stamkos

First thing is first, Guess That Hair was Kevin Bieksa. You should be able to tell by the elf ear.


In honor of Mr. Steven Stamkos's recent re-signing with the Lightning, we shall date him because we are shallow and lonely and the kid needs a good dating.


Hey ladies, I am Steven Stamkos.

If you're gonna date me you better get my name right. It's Steven, not Steve like my less fortunate bromance partner, Steve Downie.

Anyway, back to the date. So our date will start out at the Tampa Bay Rays batting practice. Because I know that you cannot resist my butt in those baseball pants.

And I really, really like baseball.

After meeting a few players and chatting a bit and hitting a few baseballs, we take our leave.

We end up at this really great hole-in-the-wall authentic Mexican restaurant where we get all you can eat tacos and giant margaritas.

I'm a little tipsy by the end of the meal and clumsily try to kiss you.


So do you help poor Steven out and give him a proper kiss or do you let him hang because he just isn't what you're looking for?

As always, it's your decision.

Kamis, 21 Juli 2011

Guess That Hair #1 Redux

We haven't done this in a long, long time but thought that a little revival of it would be fun on this boring Thursday in the off season.


1. we left the ear as a HUGE hint for number one

2. has a wonderful bromance with an American...*GASP*

3. definitely has a baaaaad attitude but that's why we heart his face

Who do you think this is? You know we make these easy because the harder they are the more work we have to put into it.


Rabu, 20 Juli 2011

Cabbie & Corey & Blowing Stuff Up

Together and separate.

Here's the video of Cabbie and Corey Perry blowing up stuff or something like that.

'Are you an expert?' is the best part.

And here's Cabbie interviewing Steve Nash during the play offs.

He's always so funny.

And we have Corey Perry dancing with the Blue Man Group.

It's scary yet also mesmerizing.

Selasa, 19 Juli 2011

2011 Blackhawks Convention Recap

Thanks to Jennifer, we have a convention recap again this season. It's always nice to have someone on the outside who can go to the places that you really want to but just cannot.



The 2011 Chicago Blackhawks Convention (or Please Stop Following Us, Patrick Sharp!)

I am very careful with my public image--meaning, I’ve taken a long time to cultivate the inherent cool I strut around with on a daily basis. Everything about going to a convention grates against this persona of mine but back in January when discussing splashing out the $65 to attend my friend Courtney (who, ironically, didn’t end up going) very plainly laid it out to me.

“Jenn,” she said in her usual matter-of-factness, “we already go to their practices. You ARE a geek.”

Indeed, that ship has sailed. After a promise from my hockey partner in crime Jessica that no Blackhawks gear would be worn and we would be wandering through the Hilton half-crocked the entire weekend, I purchased my pass. Much to my surprise, as the date came closer we got more and more excited. Since the Hawks were out of the race so early in the post-season the hunger for anything hockey made the decision more sound. The following are highlights, sights, sounds, adventures and some truly strange and bizarre moments that occurred on a steamy hot Chicago July weekend. All of these panels are available on the Hawks website but believe me...I’m gonna tell ya much better stories from being there.


After registering at noon and receiving our scratch-off supersecret Blackhawk autograph signing cards, we repaired to a local burger and beer joint to plot our weekend. So many panels, so little wiggleroom. The discovery that Carcillo was not attending due to his brother’s wedding/fear of being pummelled in the hallways kind of bummed me out a little--I wanted to see this guy up close and hear what he had to say for himself, how he was going to sell his goods. Four beers later, we decided we should head back for the Opening Ceremonies. To get you up to speed, this is roughly how Jessica and I stack up in order of importance:

Jessica--Toews, Kane, Toews, Stalberg, Leddy, Toews.

Jenn--Hossa, Bolland, Stalberg, Crawford. (and a player to be named later)

You will take note of the distinct absence of the name Patrick Sharp. Remember this.

Opening Ceremonies, emceed by our hometown boy Edzo, was rousing as ever. It’s funny how even an expertly edited clips package of a so-so season makes them look like they won the Cup again twice over. First they introduced the office dudes, then the oldsters, then the farm team kids (Jeremy Morin looking a little bewildered when Ben Smith got all the cheers) and then the new guys. When Eddie announced their names, the absent Dan Carcillo’s mention was greeted by a cascade of boos from the crowd, cracking up the entire team and coaching staff. But to see the miles-long shoulder-to-shoulder wall created by Mayers, O’Donnell and Montador I think gave every Hawks fan chills. The most awe-inspiring pecs had yet to come...somehow strapped onto a youngster named Patrick Kane. For serious. Dude is THICK. I’ve heard the term ‘beer muscles’ before but holy crap Batman...he was just short of a Gary Roberts makeover. Which, of course, in the time honored tradition of bromance the deeply tanned Captain had to make light of in his welcoming remarks. It went something along the lines of:

“People are saying Kaner’s bulked up. I don’t see it. But then again I haven’t seen him on Deadspin lately so maybe it’s true.”

I’m not expert at reading lips at a distance but I distinctly saw the word ‘asshole’ come from young Pat’s mouth. I hope Q takes away his Harry Potter replica light up wand for a week.

We went to our signing, which turned out (to Jessica’s dismay) to be Stan Mikita rather than Taser. Probably for the best cuz I was still buzzing and didn’t know if I had enough beer muscles to carry her when she would inevitably faint at the sight of him. Stosh called me a pretty young lady which of course I found flattering--altho’ if it would’ve come from someone maybe thirty years younger and Swedish would’ve had more of an effect. As we were leaving we hung around the hotel package guest line to see who would be revealed....Hossa. I stared slack-jawed for a few moments before decorum pulled me away. His arms...his tan...his...everygoddamnthing. W. O. W.


Saturday began early--we arrived at 9am to find that Dave Bolland’s autograph line was already to capacity, meaning 315 people got their shit together before we did. Now I generally have no interest in autographs but I do have great interest in Dave Bolland so that was why I wanted to be that close to him. Ah well, not to be. We instead headed up to get good seats for the back-to-back panels we wanted to see, wandering in on the end of Join The Rush, a panel about defensemen starring birthday boy Duncan Keith (sporting a sweet flow that I’m sure his new wife was thrilled about) and a quite obviously still drunk late arrival Brent Seabrook. One of my favorite things in life is when someone surprises you--when you think they are one way and they turn out to be so much more. That being said, you can sometimes judge a book by its cover and Seabs is on the best seller list...exactly the douchey frat guy you think he is. At one point he even belched over the mike. Bless his hairy heart. I hope Q ties him down to a chair in the direct sunlight minus sunscreen then books him three waxing appointments.

The first panel we were stoked for was entitled ‘Life on the Road’--panelists being new kid Bryan Bickell (heretofore knows as Freckles),Shaggy Keith, Drunky Seabrook and Mister Hollywood himself, Patrick Sharp. Before we go any further, here are my feelings on Patrick Sharp. I love the guy, amazing player and yes, ridiculously good looking. But I’m a smart ass (as you will see) and he’s a smart ass and I’m genetically dispositioned to try and take down anyone who thinks they are more of a smart ass than I am. I’m a kid sister. Nuff said. Entertaining is a generic way of putting it for this bunch...Sharpie never letting anyone forget Seabrook’s compromised state, Sharpie’s status as one of Chicago Magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People endlessly repeated, Duncs getting in some great jabs in his laconic way, Bicks trying to keep it professional. I’ll link a great video here of the enigma that is Duncan Keith, of how he deals with chirpy fans in Nashville:

A favorite revelation: Sharpie said the best prank that was ever pulled on him was after he had pranked Toews...he and Furry Burrito returned to their rooms and their immaculate looking beds, eager to have a lie down before the game. Surprised not to find any retaliation from Child Captain, they settled in to their beds to find that the sheets had been removed, thoroughly soaked in water and perfectly reapplied to their beds. The culprit? Marian Hossa. My heart skipped a beat, not gonna lie. Mmmm, devious delicious Slovak. Some stupid girl then tried to give Seabrook a beer to which some older woman in the crowd yelled out, ‘Classy!’ Tough town, this is.

We didn’t move because the very next panel was called “Chicago’s Most Wanted”, about how difficult it is to be in the spotlight in a hockey-mad Original Six City. The panel? Patrick Sharp (again), Captain Toews and Viktor ‘Lashes’ Stalberg. The makeup of the room became 500 chicks to about 4 dudes. Those 4 dudes were the fellas old enough to have spawned Toews and Kane and yet parade around in their jerseys. Pittsburgh has Lemangs, we have VV’s....otherwise known as Vince Vaughns and twice as splotchy and corpulent. The subject itself, if handled in a serious manner, is actually rather interesting to me--how do you deal with living in a city when everytime you walk out your door you’re essentially on stage, accessable to the general creepy old guy jersey wearing public and Twitter-clicking hookup barflies?

Instead, this panel became the ‘My Name is Jonathan Toews and Believe It or Not, I Have A Personality!” show. Not that I’m in any way complaining (nor was Jessica, I assure you)...it was refreshing to see Jonny relax a little. Sharpie tried to call his bluff in the very opening salvo, talking about how huge Jonny’s ass is. Cue the girls screaming. Cue the exchanged daring looks between winger and center. And cue the kid taking the challenge, standing up, turning said huge ass to the crowd and slapping it. Jonathan. Toews. Yes. That one. He then accused Sharpie of purposely losing his bucket as often as possible so he can skate around with the rink wind in his luxurious mane.

The dude moderating the panel (a superpricky sports guy from one of the local channels) was trying desperately to regain control of the hour but it was impossible. Again Carcillo’s name came up, this time causing Sharpie to remark that people didn’t know whether to cheer or boo him. (I picked booing.) A question from the audience directed at Jonny asked how he felt about Henrik Sedin saying the Hawks didn’t belong in the playoffs. Immediately his face changed and his French side came out cuz he got all spikey and scowly. “Pfff,” he scoffed, “I don’t know, we’ve beat them 2 out of three times. We’ve got a Cup ring, I don’t think he does.” He took a swig of water as the house came down. BURN. Then a tiny little kid named Wesley went to the mike and in that slow adorable way only kids can told Jonathan that he played hockey and that he picked the same number and would he sign his jersey? Jonny smiled and said ‘Sure Wesley, come on up’....ovaries popped all around me. Another tiny kid asked Toews if Kane ever gets on his nerves, causing the crowd to fall out and Jonny to relate--quite animatedly--a great story about one game this season where Kaner had hogged the puck on consecutive 5 on 3’s, leading to no goals. Taser gave him the fiery business back on the bench to which Kane retailated, to the point where guys had to start pulling them apart. Next shift, an even strength 5 on 5, Kaner delivers a beauty pass through two defenders right onto Taser’s tape and he taps it in...Kaner was so pissed that he didn’t even celebrate the goal but instead yelled ‘FUCK YOU!’ over and over at Taser. Captain knows how to get the best out of his men.

Stalberg was (perhaps wisely) quiet during most of the session, best exemplified by the one time he did speak up, saying that he had two fights last season and he didn’t think anyone else on the panel had any. Without missing a beat, Sharpie said, “Yeah, zero fights but um...I think 34 goals, was it?” Can’t run with the big dogs, pretty boy, you better stay in the kennel.

The panel ended and we opted for food and drink over another session (altho’ the next one was Taser AND Hossa...it might have killed us.) Before leaving though we stood in line for wristbands for the ONLY photo op I wanted all weekend--with Voice of the Hawks the inimitable Pat Foley and color man extraordinaire and local legend Eddie O. The combination of two vodka lemonades and then a pounded Stella Artois in line made for quite a delightful photo session...we were towards the end of the line and we asked if we could take the picture together. “Can you handle two girls at once?” was what I asked, to which Edzo was a little flustered and then came back with, “At one time I could, back in the old days!” I told Pat how the only picture I wanted all weekend was with him and Eddie said that I was one smart lady--I think all four of us laughed for the entire two or so minutes it took. Jessica was getting in some jabs with Eddie and I was telling Pat how much I loved his work...and as we all shook hands and said thanks I turned to Jess. “Now...onto Stalberg!” which cracked Eddie up. It’s a cute pic--we’re thinking of using it as a Christmas card.

So you’re seeing how I get when I’ve had a few drinks, right? Remember this.

The line for photos with Stally was not yet at capacity so we said, eh, what the hell? I didn’t have any desire for a picture with him--I just wanted a legit reason to touch his body. Wristbands affixed, we went to kill time at the bar--one shot, two beers each. Viktor’s session was from 6pm to 7. We returned at 6:19pm. He was gone. Our new pal Charles the moderator of the wristband line consoled us.

“Oh, he just left. You just missed him. He might be in the lobby...he was going to dinner.”

Other fans appeared, disappointed that he took off. I, on the other hand, was pissed. That is BAD FORM, kids. I could understand if we showed up at 6:57. But 6:19? After you’ve given out 150 wristbands? I turned to Jessica.

“We...are going to MAKE THIS RIGHT.”

You see...I’ve been at this game for a while. Or at least a similar one--I’ve hung out with a LOT of bands. So I know if you want something, you have to sometimes take matters into your own hands. We waited for these wristbands. He is employed to--for that HOUR--take pictures with fans. This didn’t happen. Plus, I’m older than him by quite a bit. He needs to learn a little respect. I can’t expect Q to constantly be teaching these boys lessons--there’s only so much grounding he can do on his own. I’m here to help.

We had heard snippets from other people, saying that the guys had been partying in the penthouse the night before (and apparently, in Seabs’ case, that morning as well). So I marched to the elevator bank amidst the swirl of wandering Blackhawk sweaters and punched the button for the penthouse. I kept telling Jessica under my breath, “I don’t give a FUCK, that shit is WRONG.” We went up to the penthouse suite but it was quiet. We then went floor by floor, each time popping out at the executive suites but it was quiet each time. We got to the first regular floor, the 25th (ironic, since we were on a Stalberg mission) and there were two bored older women standing around, obviously the Hilton’s weak attempt at security. They asked were we guests and I said no, we were waiting for our friend and this was her floor, that we were going to dinner and plopped down on the lobby couch. The annoying questioning one left the floor, leaving the ultrabored unquestioning one there. Within ten minutes, Tony Esposito and his wife walked out from the hallway and I threw a look at Jess--we were in the right place. Some people came and went and we charmingly engaged every passer by...they were obviously all Blackhawk related whether it was family members or front office folk or whatever and the more we didn’t appear like we shouldn’t be there, the less likely someone would think we weren’t. I was turned towards Jessica who was checking something on her phone as the elevator doors opened. It was Sharpie. Again. I’m seriously beginning to think he’s stalking us.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” I tossed off.

“Yeah, sure?” he said, breaking stride on the way to his room.

“Do you have Viktor Stalberg’s number? Cuz he just stood us up for a photo and that ain’t cool, man.”

Sharpie started laughing and then said,

“Oh, I don’t know that guy, I don’t have his number.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I nodded, “not like you’re on a team with him or anything...”

He laughed and went to his room. Jess was a little stunned and asked me what I was going to say if Toews came out. Again, I repeated, “I don’t give a FUCK. This is WRONG.” I was hoping Taser would appear, cuz he woulda done something about it--or at least tortured himself for letting someone down. Jess had to pee and short of knocking on room doors (which I was fully prepared to do) she went downstairs to use the loo. So I’m sitting alone in this lobby, just hanging out waiting for something to happen.

That something...was Hossa. He strode out from the hallway and gave me that “I’m a hot older guy who reeks sex and I’m looking right at you yes you,” look. I know that look. I love that look. I gave it right back to him. Then his (also good looking) Slovak pal came up behind him and they stood--huh--right at the elevator bank behind me speaking Slovak to each other. As I held my breath. Had the dude not been there, I could’ve laid some magic on Hoss but you know...a girl’s gotta have some class. And he’s married. Cuz that matters. Even though he wasn’t wearing a ring and she wasn’t around. Just sayin.

Jess returned and it was my turn for a potty break which I did at a run--when I returned Michel Goulet came into the lobby and asked who we were waiting for, saying if we got stood up we should come down and have drinks with him. In retrospect, that could’ve been a good time. Not five minutes later, everyone’s favorite member of the Addams Family comes into the lobby, all six foot eight inches of John Scott. Say what you will about his on-ice abilities, I have always loved the guy. And he immediately says hi and we say hi...I tell him that I’m glad he’s staying with us and he starts chatting like we’ve known him for fifty years. I give him the Stalberg sob story and tell him to call Viktor to air our grievance and he takes out his phone, then says ‘Oh, but he went to dinner already, he left...’ and I say ‘I know, but that’s bad form dude...’ He shrugs and says, “Well you know, he’s such a womanizer...”

John tells us he’s on his way to a concert and we excitedly ask which one--he says ‘Tim McGraw,’ all jazzed. Of course we rage on him...”Tim McGraw? Really? Tim McGraw???” and he laughs and defends himself, “I’m a rock guy, but it’s free! and I get to meet him! and it’s better than sitting on this couch!” The elevator comes and we say goodnight...and soon after the bitchy security woman hustles us out. So in some ways we come up empty but groundwork has been laid. Plus it’s pretty safe to say that Stally got at least a few texts that night...we found out later Scott went with Kaner and Leddy to that Tim McGraw show so I’m sure they heard about it. Too bad Kaner wasn’t around while we were upstairs or this story coulda been even more interesting. We go out for more drinks before calling it a night.


The Convention was winding down and a lot of attendees had left so it was much quieter--Stalberg’s got a line for autographs and since we are still sporting our wristbands from his FAILED PHOTO OP the night before I consider calling him on the carpet. John Scott is also there so for a moment we weigh using his muscle to right our wrong. But I think partially from apathy and partially not wanting to become ‘Those Girls’ we decided instead to moon over the absolutely fricken adorable Corey Crawford. Oh my god if he was any cuter he’d be a French Canadian basket of puppies. I wanted to see the panel Meet Your New Blackhawks so on the way our worker pal Charles tells us he’s about to get wristbands for the Steve Montador photo op. We sorta shrug it off. I live to regret this when the panel for the new Blackhawks gets announced and Steve Montador hits the stage. Once I get a good look at him and the shirt he’s wearing that is screaming in pain from where he’s threatening to bust out of it Hulk style I suddenly very much want to take a picture with him. He’s got one of those sexy busted noses and I note that he fills everyone’s water glass on the panel so he’s a very suave host as well. Sean O’Donnell I adore and he laughs when someone asks about Carcillo--he says that he’s at his brother’s wedding and wishes he could’ve come to the Convention just so we could all get to know him. “I get it,” O’Donnell said, “He’s one of those guys who when he’s on the other team you hate him but when he’s on yours you love him. He’s a fan favorite in Philly and he will be here too. Hey, you guys would hate Dave Bolland if he was on another team.” Touche, Mister O’Donnell, touche. O’Donnell also said all he wants to do is win one more Cup--about a hundred times. I like his focus. He also thanked a young girl in the audience who asked what he would do when Sharpie inevitably pranks him. "Well, I'd like to thank that young lady for telling me this because I didn't know he did that." LOVE. Mayers, McLean and cutiepie Olesz make good impressions too but honestly I’m too distracted by Monty’s all around deliciousness. I hope no one else noticed him.

Last panel with the missing cog of the weekend, the only suspect we haven’t seen--Top Draft Picks with Kaner. Also starring Eddie O and Denis Savard with a guest appearance by Dave ‘Charlie’ Manson, one of the nicest guys in the sport. I’m impressed with Kaner’s ease in front of the mike and it feels actually so much more natural than Taser’s ‘Look Ma, No Serious!’ routine (tho’ I loved that too)...it is funny that while Taser constantly takes shots at Kaner even when he’s not around the one and only time someone tries to get a rise out of Kaner regarding Jonny they come up empty. Either he’s a student of Zen or the kid’s grown up. Maybe he spent a long night after the Tim McGraw show thinking about how his Harry Potter replica light up wand was in Q’s drawer for the rest of the week and thought better of being catty. It’s hard to get any spotlight when Edzo and Savvy are together--Jess commented that their banter is exactly what Kaner and Taser will be like in ten years. At one point (the oft-cited highlight of the convention) Savard brought up for the fourth or fifth time how cheap Eddie was. Eddie stood up, picked up the pitcher of ice water and dumped it on Savard’s head. Beyond classic. Totally worth the Youtube.

Tuckered out, we called it a weekend after that....and already started making plans for the Training Camp Festival and our own Fantasy Hockey league. I love summer but damn I miss hockey.

And Steve Montador? Watch your back. I’m comin’ for ya. You lucky bastard.

Senin, 18 Juli 2011

One-A-Day Update

So far, we had a quite a few people say that they would help us out with this year's One-A-Days.

Here is the list of the people that got to us first because we had a couple of doubles. We apologize to those that emailed us and didn't get the team you wanted but like we said before 'first come, first serve'.

Devils - Michelle/Tuorto
Hawks - Gina/Garrogin
Stars - Shanny
Flyers - Grace
Penguins - Noodles and Henrik
Oilers - Macke
Flames - Kylie
Capitals - Claire
Maple Leafs - Ness

If you haven't commented yet or emailed us but want a team, let us know by the end of July.

Here is a link to the outline of the One-A-Days if you need it.

And here is a link of the schedule of days that each team will be on.

If you are doing a team then please have the outline attached to us along with any pictures you would like added in an email no later than two days before the scheduled date.

Thank you to everyone that is willing to take the time to do a team. It is our goal that some day we will have all 30 teams done by readers. That would be awesome.

Minggu, 17 Juli 2011

Missed Us?

We had a blasty-blast on our vacation, getting tattoos and getting sunburned on the beach. Thanks to everyone for the well-wishes and the One-A-Days.

We will have a list of the teams taken and by who tomorrow. For now, here are some news links that we found interesting.

- Patrick Kane has a fractured wrist and has to have surgery on it. He should be ready for the start of training camp though.

- Blues signed Jonathan Cheechoo to a one-year deal.

- Oilers traded Andrew Cogliano to the Ducks for a second-rounder in 2013. Then they re-signed him to a three-year deal.

- Ducks weren't done being busy though. They signed Jeff Deslauriers to a two-year deal.

- The Stars signed enforcer Eric Godard to a two-year deal. There was a moment of silence in the lair after we heard about that signing.

- But the Penguins will not be without a tough guy since they signed Steve McIntyre to a one-year deal.

- Dustin Jeffrey and the Penguins finally agreed on a two-year deal.

- Coyotes hired John Anderson as an assistant coach for a multi-year deal.

- TJ Galiardi was re-signed by the Colorado Avalanche to a one-year deal.

- Then the Avalanche signed defenseman Shane O'Brien to a one-year deal.

- Brandon Sutter was re-signed by the Hurricanes to a three-year deal.

- Rangers re-signed Brian Boyle.

- Panthers signed Erik Gudbranson to an entry-level contract.

- Blackhawks re-signed Michael Frolik to a three-year deal and Sami Lepisto to a one-year deal.

- Capitals re-signed Karl Alzner to a two-year deal.

- Trevor Lewis and the Kings agreed upon a two-year deal.

- Winnipeg just signed a crap ton of their players, avoiding arbitration with all of them.

- Sidney Crosby has begun on-ice workouts and we couldn't be happier about the news.

- it has been reported that Chris Osgood will be announcing his retirement this week.

Minggu, 10 Juli 2011


Just wanted to let everyone know that we're taking a little break from blogging.

Only for the week so don't get your panties in a twist, ladies.

Macke is coming down from Canada for her birthday week and we're going to be doing a lot of fun stuff with her so this is the perfect time to recharge our batteries and get ready for the One-A-Days in August and to plan what we're going to do for the season.

If you want to get started doing a team for the One-A-Days then check out the previous ones and send us either a comment or an email about what team you want to do. It's first come, first serve on teams so let us know which team you want and we will be as accomodating as possible.

Also, if you have any ideas for a new feature or if we should bring back an old feature, let us know. We love seeing our inbox full of ideas.

Thanks for reading us all season and being great readers who like to contribute.

Hope that you have a nice week and we will see you next Sunday!

Sabtu, 09 Juli 2011

News And Notes On Saturday

- Capitals traded Eric Fehr to the Jets for Danick Paquette and a fourth-rounder in 2012.

- Panthers traded Jordan Hendry to the Flames for Keith Seabrook.

- But the Panthers weren't done as they traded Kenndal McArdle to the Jets in exchange for Angelo Esposito.

- Then the Panthers traded Mike Duco to the Canucks for Sergei Shirkov. They've been busy, busy, busy.

- Avalanche re-signed Kevin Porter and Ryan Wilson to one-year deals.

- Sergei Kostitsyn was re-signed by the Nashville Predators to a one-yer deal which avoided arbitration.

- Kings re-signed Alex Martinez to a two-year deal.

- In a mystery deal, the Rangers re-signed Michael Sauer for who knows how much and for who knows how long.

- Sharks signed depth guys Ben Guite and Ben Ferriero to one-year deals.

- Senators signed Mark Parrish to a one-year, two-way contract.

- Wild signed Mike Lundin to a one-year deal giving the Wild some kind of defense...

- Viktor Stalberg was re-signed by the Blackhawks to a two-year deal worth $1.75 million.

- Capitals signed Christian Hanson to a one-year deal.

- Red Wings are keeping backup goaltender Joey MacDonald by signing him to a two-year deal.

Jumat, 08 Juli 2011

Date Night Friday: Taylor Hall

Welcome to the New & Improved Date Night Friday! Hope you like what we have in store for everyone this time around. Let us know if you like it or not!


Hi, my name is Taylor Hall and I play for the Edmonton Oilers.

You may think I am too young to woo you but age is really just a useless number and baby, I am all mature, highly-developed man.

Yes, I was the number one pick in 2010 but that isn't important. What is important is the fun that we're going to have on this date.

Wear your best dress and jewelry, I want you to look good. I will wear a suit and a fake mustache and pick you up in my pretty sweet pick-up truck.

We arrive at the closest car dealership where we put on fake Russian or Spanish or French accents and tell the salesman that we're newlyweds and picking out our first car together.

Of course we test drive as many cars as possible.

After we've test drove every car we want to we have a pretend fight and then leave in a hurry. Our next stop is the ice cream shop where we get the biggest sundaes they have and I help you eat yours.

At your doorstep, I lean in close and wait for the kiss that I know you've been wanting to give me all day.


Do you let Mr. Hall kiss you? Did you have a good time on the date?

Do you think there is potential for a second date?

Let us know your thoughts in the comments!