So, this idea has been going around the interwebs like herpes in a Lifetime movie and we decided to jump on the bandwagon. We've never been very good at saying no to peer pressure.
We're also not very good at making videos and we look like trolls so we're going to do this in text and not a video. Also, it's a lot easier and we're fond of being lazy.
Remember, these are supposed to be funny. Yes, we have our fangirl moments. We can't help it. Boys can do it over VS models and Miss USA, we just choose hockey players because the sport is the best in the world and some of the boys who play it are attractive. It's a curse.
Without further ado, here are our
Top Ten: Sh*t the Hockey Junkies say...
10. "Out of all of my hockey husbands which one would I be most compatible with?
Personality-wise of course. Next question: Who would I make prettier babies with?"
09. "Why is he looking at him like that? Oh my god, stop it.
Why do you love him so muuuuuuuuuch? Stop it! That's it, we quit. End our lives now, le sigh."
08. "F**k me, that move. Boom. Pregnant."
"He's mine, my precious."
*Pierre McGuire starts to drool over him in telecasts*
"HE'S MINE, MY PRECIOUS. MINE!!! Get your filthy hands off of him!"
06. *picture of Kris Letang/Kris Versteeg/Steven Stamkos/player with bad flow*
CUT YOUR DAMN HAIR, BOY!
SEE! Isn't that better? You look less like a bag lady and more like a gentleman.
05. "I accidentally on purpose went through the Jordan Eberle tag on Tumblr in a moment of weakness.
And three hours later..."
04. "Did you see Kane in the shootout last night? Diiiiirty."
03. "Don't you DARE hit him!
Who do you think you are? I will hunt you down, punk."
02. "The fanfic about him is going to be atrocious....
But I can't wait for the terribleness to happen."
01. *in perfect Patrick Bateman voice*
"NOT THE FACE!!!"
Do you guys say stuff like this too? Or are we just batshit insane? Because we've always assumed that.
If you guys think of any others, let us know. We will probably be doing a part two soon.