The Evolution of Katty Pane: Patrick Kane's Alter Ego
In honor of the newest escapade for Patrick Kane, this post is finally being brought into the blog-world.
When Mr. Kane first came onto the scene, he was a tiny little zit-faced fellow. He looked to be an innocent seventeen-year-old who was just coming into his own.
Little did we know how his alter ego would change the world of hockey and Chicago forever in such a short time.
We named this alter ego Katty Pane.
It is the fun-loving, booze-guzzling manwhore side of Patrick Kane.
AKA the side that is our favorite. This alter ego only rears its ugly head when alcohol is imbibed and Jonathan Toews isn't around to take the beer-goggles off of him.
When Kane was just a young buck with the London Knights, any mother would have killed to have him take their daughter to prom. Now, mothers are locking their doors to keep their daughters safe from his boyish good looks and rakish alter ego.
But honestly we should have known when this picture surfaced during the 2007 play offs.
Katty Pane is the reason that he punched a cab driver the summer of 2009 and was subsequently arrested.
Can you just imagine him having a sip of beer and Hulk-ing out into Katty Pane?
His alter ego is the reason that he was caught in a limousine with questionable intentions in Vancouver.
We don't blame Kris Versteeg at all because he is a perfect human. Katty Pane made him do it.
Katty Pane is also responsible for this showing at the Blackhawks Stanley Cup rally. Remember that?
Hahaha, what a role model. We think it's funny because he's ridiculous and doesn't care how he looks to anyone, especially the media.
And currently, some chick he banged took his picture while sleeping and then took a picture of his boarding pass to prove to her friends that they hooked up. (What we want to know is if it was good or not, that's the real question here).
Awesomesauce, unless you're either Toews or the Blackhawks PR staff (who deserve bonuses this Christmas for putting up with Katty Pane) then it's not funny at all.
The alter ego, Katty Pane, entertains us to no end. He is idiotic, booze-soaked and completely off the rails insane. There is nothing he won't do and no limits he won't cross.
Everyone is now in a tizzy and it's just ridiculous. Yes he's a professional athlete but he's just doing what every 22-year-old would do. It sucks that he is in the limelight and this girl thought it would be appropriate to tell the world about her conquest. What an idiot. But it happens and this is mild compared to the other drama that other sports figures get into.
All we gotta say is