Sabtu, 05 Maret 2011

Silver Fox: Win A Date With An Oldster #16

This date is from Shanny and we think it is highly appropriate that she wrote it considering a)her name and b) the holiday that is coming up that has to do with everything Irish.


Brenden Shanahan

Current Position
Vice President of Hockey & Business Development for the NHL

Former Position
BAMF power forward

Why He's Amazing
Is a member of the Triple Gold Club

Why He's Still Sexy As Hell
If looking at him isn't enough, he's helping to make the game safer for players & more entertaining for fans.

What You Do On A Date
After hitting all the St. Patty's Day parties at every bar, pub, & dive in the city you stumble back to Shanny's place. He immediately pulls out the Jameson & cranks up the Dropkick Murphys.

The two of you then proceed to drunk dial people on his phone starting with Sean Avery:

You (slurring): it's ringing, it's ringing, shhhhh.
SA: Yello?
You (trying to make your voice sound deeper): Hey, sweet cheeks, whaaaattttt's uuuuppppp?
SA: Hey Alphonso! I didn't expect to hear from you so soon.
Shanny (yelling in the background): Tell him his face looks like a 200 year old vagina!
You (to Shanny): Shhhhsss! Let me do this!
SA: Wait a minute...who is this!?!
You:'re a pussy face!
SA: Phaneuf!?! Is that you!?! Damn it man, it's not my fault you keep getting my sloppy seconds.
You: At least I'm not Trevor Gillies sloppy seconds like you are!! BUUUURRRRN!!
Shanny (yelling in background): He's on to us! Hang up, hang up!

The next call goes out to Steve Yzerman:

SY (very groggily): Yeah?
Shanny (with very slurred speech): Heeeeeyyyyy, you there guy.
SY: Sweet Jesus, Burke, not again! Look I told you before I'm NOT trading Stamkos!!
Shanny: Yeah, well, shit, you know.
SY: I'm not trading Hedman or St. Louis either! I told you I'd entertain offers for Vinny, mostly to dump his massive salary but, you don't have a center I want & you just laugh & hang up when ever I call you about Schenn! So, quite fucking calling me at all hours before I beat the shit out of you!!

The next number dialed is Henrik Lundqvist

Hank: Hej?
You (hysterically crying): You're so beautiful & so awesome! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! Why don't you love me back!?! Whhhhhhyyyyyyyyy!?!
Hank: Avery?

Next on the list is Gary Bettman:

GB: Commish here.
You & Shanny (giggling): BUTTTTMAAAANNNN!!!
You: Butttt!
Shanny: Maaaannnnn!
GB: Oh, Colly you're so cute. I do enjoy our little conversations.
You & Shanny: Huh?
GB: So, have you under disciplined anyone tonight my sexy little minx?
You & Shanny: What. The. Fuck!! Haaaaahaaaaahaaaaa!!!

You & Shanny decide to make one last call. It goes out to Brett Hull

BH: Go for Hully.
Shanny (slurred): You're like, man, you know
BH: Shanny, what the fuck do you want?
Shanny:, man? Hoooowwww?
BH: It's called caller ID, dick face.
Shanny: But like...oh OK.
BH: Yeah, oh OK. Fuckwad!

After Hull hangs up Shanny asks if you'd like to see his shillelagh stick.

Did you have a good time drunk dialing people? Do you hang around & get a look at Shanny's magic Irish shillelagh? Or do you head home?

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